Ian McKellan, Hellen Mirren Leads In Fifty Shades of Grey Movie?

Ian McKellan and Helen Mirren: inside track for Fifty Shades leads? Image sources: the Interwebs.

The little birds at Universal Pictures are all atwitter with the news that the studio may be preparing a surprising tasty treat in the form of an "M&M" for fans of the naughty novel known as Fifty Shades of Grey. The insiders at the studio are saying that Ian McKellan and Helen Mirren are very much in the running to play Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele.

Our ultra-secret, ultra-knowledgeable sources say that Universal has heard the complaints from some parties that at 21, Anastasia is young to be engaging in lustful, depraved, kinky sex practices, and that it was ridiculous to say a man could be a self-made billionaire while still in his twenties, so they made an imaginative leap and decided to go with someone completely at the other end of the age spectrum.

And don't be fearful that this casting move heralds backing off from the sexy hijinks portrayed in the book, fans, because word is that Mirren and McKellan are both eager and raring to go. Mirren, quite the hottie in her younger days and always ready to doff her clothing at the drop of an innuendo, and McKellan, who is gay in real life, will have absolutely no compunction about getting it on in ways that will leave audience's brains begging for bleach. And let's face it, at their respective ages, the ropes and chains will help a lot, giving them something to hang on to while they give their all.

And word is, if Mirren and McKellan turn the roles down, there's always Bette Midler and Mickey Rooney waiting in the wings.

Filthy Shades of Grey?

First pubished on 1/13/2013

Kelly Marcel, the screenwriter for the upcoming 50 Shades of Grey movie, says the movie is gonna be RAUNCHY, that they are going for an NC-17 rating. The news is all over the entertainment blogs.

I'm kind of amazed, and surprised, and frankly, cynical. There is a long distance between a screenplay and the final movie. Frankly, to have the movie come out as raunchy as some of the scenes in the books, you'd need some hardcore scenes indeed, because there ARE scenes in the books where Christian ties Ana up thoroughly, gags her and fucks her.

I'm betting the studio execs will get cold feet at the thought of trying to make an NC-17 hit franchise film. If the film is NOT raunchy, it will be a flop, because the readers clearly liked the raunchy elements of the books. But the conventional wisdom is that NC-17 does not produce blockbuster hits. You gotta get the kids in there! And even though the thought of Fifty Shades of Grey that's clean enough for the kiddies is patently ridiculous, well, anybody who ever read the Gor novels would have said the same thing about a Gor movie ... and look what we wound up with.

Fifty Shades of News Bits

First published on 12/21/2012

Fifty Shades of Gray has inspired a workout. Do tell. Bandwagon-jumping continues apace. They've also got a new video out of George Takei reading Fifty Shades of Grey aloud which is SUPPOSED to be hilarious, and to have gone viral, but I watched it, and ... meh. So no link!

Also, a cogent and interesting analysis of the prospects for a Fifty Shades of Grey movie that predicts the movie will be bizarre. If it's bizarre, I think that will be a success, because that means somebody will have TRIED to make it work. I think it will just suck. But do read the analysis, and if you like, my response in the comments section.